Fock me? Fock you! Despite playing a tough opening schedule, Hong’s team has glided to the top of the toughest division in the land. Fockers barely missed the playoffs last year, despite a winning record, and now they’re angry! Having the best player in fantasy football helps, as Andrew Luck and his 25.8 points per game are smashing everyone else in the league so far.
Last year’s number one overall pick, Le’Veon Bell, has lost weight and is now breaking off explosive runs. And hey, off-season acquisition Antonio Gates had three TDs in WK2! And there’s more upside to be had here, as starting receivers Demaryius Thomas and Pierre Garcon have yet to hit their stride. Montee Ball seems to be an absolute disappointment though, and this year’s first rounder, Bishop Sankey, could soon overtake him in the starting lineup. In fact, the only weakness we can see is the same hole as last year: tight end. Gates had that one spectacular game but he’s been quiet since. (Sleeper TE Ladarius Green is still deep in slumber apparently.) Regardless, with the magical Luck at the helm, Fockers are certain to continue their winning ways. Dracarys!
100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (3-1)
How fare our defending champions? After winning the throne, winning the lottery, and cashing in on a flurry of extra early rounders, Pooh Bears should be nigh invincible right? Well, new owner (and younger brother) Alan took the shine off the crown by pounding J&J by thirty points in WK1. Since then, Pooh Bears have bounced back handily, but with wins against three opponents who all scored sub-60 points. The rest of their schedule stacks out to much tougher, as they only face one sub-0.500 team the rest of the way.
Antonio Brown has asserted himself as the most exciting receiver in the league, with highlight reel catches, 18.3 ppg, and a lofty #10 overall fantasy showing. Brown, Jimmy Graham, and Dez Bryant have been working opponents over. The receivers on this team are ridiculous, and that’s not even accounting for (hopefully not) one-shot wonder Cordarrelle Patterson, partially resuscitated Reggie Wayne, and 2014’s RD1.1 pick, Brandin Cooks. Oh right, and fellow rookie Mike Evans, who wasn’t looking too bad either until a groin injury shelved him. Last year’s championship run relied heavily on Shane Vereen, but now he’s fallen off a cliff and there’s only Pierre Thomas and rookie backup Carlos Hyde behind him. The thing is, who’s leading this team at quarterback? The no brainer answer is Cam Newton, but Killer Cam has been getting worse each week and if rookie Teddy Bridgewater were healthy, there’s a great chance he would have been inserted into the lineup already. Oh yeah, and there’s Johnny Manziel lurking, lurking, behind them both. Pooh Bears face off against Fockers in WK5 for a huge game!
Italian Stallionz (2-2)After suffering the indignity of being the only team in The Wood not to have a winning record last year, Stallionz put their stamp on the young season by putting up a season high 109 points last week — including a negative seven showing by Falcons defense while Eagles' +24 points rode the bench. So far it seems like Porta’s squad is boom or bust, riding the wave of Matthew Stafford’s big weeks. However, Jamaal Charles is back in the saddle and he should provide another dose of explosiveness.
The receiving corps is definitely contributing, as DeAndre Hopkins has matured quickly in his second year and pre-draft trade acquisition Mike Wallace has somehow found consistency week to week. And what about TE Larry Donnell, who has been starting since early WK2 for the prescient Porta. Exciting running back Andre Ellington has received a major uptick in carries but he hasn’t reached the end zone yet, and he could be spelled by Justin Forsett if he can’t start consistently getting into double digits. Stevan Ridley has seemed to disappear from the Patriots game plan recently. No matter, with Charles back in charge, the running game is strong again, and we're ready to see if this team is the Stallionz Who Mountz the World!
Squirtle Squad (2-2)
What do you call a team that has both Adrian Peterson and Josh Gordon on the roster?...Give up? Answer: Ray Rice’s next team! Okay, not funny. Squirtles responded to all the Peterson and Gordon adversity by slapping up 106 points last week, in defiance of The Old Gods and the New. Remember how we said Pooh Bears had a tough road ahead of them? Well, Brian's team won’t face any sub-0.500 teams the rest of the way. He's taking the High Road to The Eyrie apparently.
With two of their best players facing lengthy suspensions, it makes sense that this team’s depth has been tested. (A recent trade of Jordan Matthews for promising Isaiah Crowell doesn’t quite move the needle.) Sophomores Zac Stacy and Keenan Allen have both had their struggles this year, even though Allen just had a great WK4. Randall Cobb has been spectacular receiving passes from NFL MVP candidate Philip Rivers, who’s averaging 20.3 ppg, just a notch behind Luck and Manning. Julius Thomas could easily remain the top TE for the year, and yes, in a historic first, Squirtles will roll out a double-TE formation in WK5. Our off-season rule change will hit the field in the form of Heath Miller at the flex position. Just for that, we hope Squirtles go undefeated the rest of the way.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment